A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
You can now watch Two and a Half Men online on the following streaming providers in the United States.
| Title | Air Date | Duration | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season 1 | Episode 1 | Pilot | 2003-09-22 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 2 | Big Flappy Bastards | 2003-09-29 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 3 | Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell | 2003-10-06 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 4 | If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap | 2003-10-13 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 5 | The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump | 2003-10-20 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 6 | Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? | 2003-10-27 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 7 | If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake | 2003-11-03 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 8 | Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful | 2003-11-10 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 9 | Phase One, Complete | 2003-11-17 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 10 | Merry Thanksgiving | 2003-11-24 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 11 | Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor | 2003-12-15 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 12 | Camel Filters + Pheromones | 2004-01-05 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 13 | Sarah Like Puny Alan | 2004-01-12 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 14 | I Can't Afford Hyenas | 2004-02-02 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 15 | Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1) | 2004-02-09 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 16 | That Was Saliva, Alan (2) | 2004-02-16 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 17 | Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats | 2004-02-23 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 18 | An Old Flame with a New Wick | 2004-03-01 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 19 | I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You | 2004-03-22 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 20 | Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark | 2004-04-19 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 21 | No Sniffing, No Wowing | 2004-05-03 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 22 | My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet | 2004-05-10 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 23 | Just Like Buffalo | 2004-05-17 | 30 min |
| Season 1 | Episode 24 | Can You Feel My Finger? | 2004-05-24 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 1 | Back Off, Mary Poppins | 2004-09-20 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 2 | Enjoy Those Garlic Balls | 2004-09-27 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 3 | A Bag Full of Jawea | 2004-10-04 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 4 | Go Get Mommy's Bra | 2004-10-11 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 5 | Bad News from the Clinic? | 2004-10-18 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 6 | The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance | 2004-10-25 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 7 | A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana | 2004-11-08 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 8 | Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers | 2004-11-15 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 9 | Yes, Monsignor | 2004-11-22 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 10 | The Salmon Under My Sweater | 2004-11-29 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 11 | Last Chance to See Those Tattoos | 2004-12-13 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 12 | A Lung Full of Alan | 2005-01-03 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 13 | Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow | 2005-01-17 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 14 | Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts | 2005-01-31 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 15 | Smell the Umbrella Stand | 2005-02-07 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 16 | Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? | 2005-02-14 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 17 | Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! | 2005-02-21 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 18 | It was 'Mame,' Mom | 2005-03-07 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 19 | A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise | 2005-03-21 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 20 | I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey | 2005-04-18 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 21 | A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On | 2005-05-02 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 22 | That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother | 2005-05-09 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 23 | Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab | 2005-05-16 | 30 min |
| Season 2 | Episode 24 | Does This Smell Funny to You? | 2005-05-23 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 1 | Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts | 2005-09-19 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 2 | Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover | 2005-09-26 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 3 | Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark | 2005-10-03 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 4 | Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs | 2005-10-10 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 5 | We Called It Mr. Pinky | 2005-10-17 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 6 | Hi, Mr. Horned One | 2005-10-24 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 7 | Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop | 2005-11-07 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 8 | That Voodoo That I Do Do | 2005-11-14 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 9 | Madame and Her Special Friend | 2005-11-21 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 10 | Something Salted and Twisted | 2005-11-28 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 11 | Santa's Village of the Damned | 2005-12-19 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 12 | That Special Tug | 2006-01-09 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 13 | Humiliation Is a Visual Medium | 2006-01-23 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 14 | Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded | 2006-02-06 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 15 | My Tongue Is Meat | 2006-02-27 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 16 | Ergo, the Booty Call | 2006-03-06 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 17 | The Unfortunate Little Schnauser | 2006-03-13 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 18 | The Spit-Covered Cobbler | 2006-03-20 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 19 | Golly Moses, She's a Muffin | 2006-04-10 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 20 | Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro | 2006-04-24 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 21 | And the Plot Moistens | 2006-05-01 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 22 | Just Once with Aunt Sophie | 2006-05-08 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 23 | Arguments for the Quickie | 2006-05-15 | 30 min |
| Season 3 | Episode 24 | That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite | 2006-05-22 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 1 | Working for Caligula | 2006-09-18 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 2 | Who's Vod Kanockers? | 2006-09-25 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 3 | The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress | 2006-10-02 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 4 | A Pot Smoking Monkey | 2006-10-09 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 5 | A Live Woman of Proven Fertility | 2006-10-16 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 6 | Apologies for the Frivolity | 2006-10-23 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 7 | Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head | 2006-11-06 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 8 | Release the Dogs | 2006-11-13 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 9 | Corey's Been Dead for an Hour | 2006-11-20 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 10 | Kissing Abraham Lincoln | 2006-11-27 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 11 | Walnuts and Demerol | 2006-12-11 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 12 | Castrating Sheep in Montana | 2007-01-08 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 13 | Don't Worry, Speed Racer | 2007-01-22 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 14 | That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami | 2007-02-05 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 15 | My Damn Stalker | 2007-02-12 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 16 | Young People Have Phlegm Too | 2007-02-19 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 17 | I Merely Slept with a Commie | 2007-02-26 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 18 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | 2007-03-19 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 19 | Smooth As a Ken Doll | 2007-04-09 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot | 2007-04-16 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 21 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | 2007-04-23 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 22 | Mr. McGlue's Feedbag | 2007-04-30 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 23 | Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin | 2007-05-07 | 30 min |
| Season 4 | Episode 24 | Prostitutes and Gelato | 2007-05-14 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 1 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | 2007-09-24 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 2 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | 2007-10-01 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 3 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | 2007-10-08 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 4 | City of Great Racks | 2007-10-15 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 5 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | 2007-10-22 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 6 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | 2007-10-29 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 7 | Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room | 2007-11-05 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 8 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | 2007-11-12 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 9 | Tight's Good | 2007-11-19 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 10 | Kinda Like Necrophilia | 2007-11-26 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 11 | Meander to Your Dander | 2008-03-17 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 12 | A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh | 2008-03-24 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 13 | The Soil Is Moist | 2008-03-31 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 14 | Winky-Dink Time | 2008-04-14 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 15 | Rough Night in Hump Junction | 2008-04-21 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 16 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | 2008-04-28 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 17 | Fish in a Drawer | 2008-05-05 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 18 | If My Hole Could Talk | 2008-05-12 | 30 min |
| Season 5 | Episode 19 | Waiting for the Right Snapper | 2008-05-19 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 1 | Taterhead Is Our Love Child | 2008-09-22 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 2 | Pie Hole, Herb | 2008-09-29 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 3 | Damn You, Eggs Benedict | 2008-10-06 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 4 | The Flavin' and the Mavin' | 2008-10-13 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 5 | A Jock Strap in Hell | 2008-10-20 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 6 | It's Always Nazi Week | 2008-11-03 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 7 | Best H.O. Money Can Buy | 2008-11-10 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 8 | Pinocchio's Mouth | 2008-11-17 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 9 | The Mooch at the Boo | 2008-11-24 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 10 | He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited | 2008-12-08 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 11 | The Devil's Lube | 2008-12-15 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 12 | Thank God for Scoliosis | 2009-01-12 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 13 | I Think You Offended Don | 2009-01-19 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 14 | David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie | 2009-02-02 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 15 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | 2009-02-09 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 16 | She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime | 2009-03-02 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 17 | The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? | 2009-03-09 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 18 | My Son's Enormous Head | 2009-03-16 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 19 | The Two Finger Rule | 2009-03-30 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 20 | Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau | 2009-04-13 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 21 | Above Exalted Cyclops | 2009-04-27 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 22 | Sir Lancelot's Litter Box | 2009-05-04 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 23 | Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth | 2009-05-11 | 30 min |
| Season 6 | Episode 24 | Baseball with Better Steroids | 2009-05-18 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 1 | 818-jklpuzo | 2009-09-21 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 2 | Whipped Unto the Third Generation | 2009-09-28 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 3 | Mmm, Fish. Yum. | 2009-10-05 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 4 | Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator | 2009-10-12 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 5 | For the Sake of the Child | 2009-10-19 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 6 | Give Me Your Thumb | 2009-11-02 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 7 | Untainted by Filth | 2009-11-09 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 8 | Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | 2009-11-16 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 9 | Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair | 2009-11-23 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 10 | That's Why They Call It Ball Room | 2009-12-07 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 11 | Warning, It's Dirty | 2009-12-14 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 12 | Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste | 2010-01-11 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 13 | Yay, No Polyps! | 2010-01-18 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 14 | Crude and Uncalled For | 2010-02-01 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 15 | Aye, Aye, Captain | 2010-02-08 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 16 | Tinkle Like a Princess | 2010-03-01 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 17 | I Found Your Moustache | 2010-03-08 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 18 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | 2010-03-22 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 19 | Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave | 2010-04-12 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 20 | I Called Him Magoo | 2010-05-10 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 21 | Gumby with a Pokey | 2010-05-17 | 30 min |
| Season 7 | Episode 22 | This Is Not Gonna End Well | 2010-05-24 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 1 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | 2010-09-20 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 2 | A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer | 2010-09-27 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 3 | A Pudding-Filled Cactus | 2010-10-04 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 4 | Hookers, Hookers, Hookers | 2010-10-11 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 5 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | 2010-10-18 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 6 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | 2010-10-25 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 7 | The Crazy Bitch Gazette | 2010-11-01 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 8 | Springtime on a Stick | 2010-11-08 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 9 | A Good Time in Central Africa | 2010-11-15 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 10 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | 2010-11-22 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 11 | Dead from the Waist Down | 2010-12-06 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 12 | Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead | 2010-12-13 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 13 | Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup | 2011-01-03 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 14 | Lookin' for Japanese Subs | 2011-01-17 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 15 | Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak | 2011-02-07 | 30 min |
| Season 8 | Episode 16 | That Darn Priest | 2011-02-14 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 1 | Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt | 2011-09-19 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 2 | People Who Love Peepholes | 2011-09-26 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 3 | Big Girls Don't Throw Food | 2011-10-03 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 4 | Nine Magic Fingers | 2011-10-10 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 5 | A Giant Cat Holding a Churro | 2011-10-17 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 6 | The Squat and the Hover | 2011-10-24 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 7 | Those Fancy Japanese Toilets | 2011-10-31 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 8 | Thank You for the Intercourse | 2011-11-07 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 9 | Frodo's Headshots | 2011-11-14 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 10 | A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes | 2011-11-21 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 11 | What a Lovely Landing Strip | 2011-12-05 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 12 | One False Move, Zimbabwe! | 2011-12-12 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 13 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | 2012-01-02 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 14 | A Possum on Chemo | 2012-01-16 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 15 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | 2012-02-06 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 16 | Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy | 2012-02-13 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 17 | Not in My Mouth! | 2012-02-20 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 18 | The War Against Gingivitis | 2012-02-27 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 19 | Palmdale, Ech | 2012-03-19 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 20 | Grandma's Pie | 2012-04-09 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 21 | Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' | 2012-04-16 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 22 | Why We Gave Up Women | 2012-04-30 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 23 | The Straw in My Donut Hole | 2012-05-07 | 30 min |
| Season 9 | Episode 24 | Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! | 2012-05-14 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 1 | I Changed My Mind About the Milk | 2012-09-27 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 2 | A Big Bag of Dog | 2012-10-04 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 3 | Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt | 2012-10-11 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 4 | You Do Know What the Lollipop's For | 2012-10-18 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 5 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | 2012-10-25 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 6 | Ferrets, Attack! | 2012-11-01 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 7 | Avoid the Chinese Mustard | 2012-11-08 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 8 | Something My Gynecologist Said | 2012-11-15 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 9 | I Scream When I Pee | 2012-11-29 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 10 | One Nut Johnson | 2012-12-06 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 11 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | 2012-12-13 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 12 | Welcome to Alancrest | 2013-01-03 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 13 | Grab a Feather and Get in Line | 2013-01-10 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 14 | Run, Steven Staven! Run! | 2013-01-31 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 15 | Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It | 2013-02-07 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 16 | Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby | 2013-02-14 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 17 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | 2013-02-21 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 18 | The 9:04 from Pemberton | 2013-03-07 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 19 | Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon | 2013-03-14 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 20 | Bazinga! That's from a TV Show | 2013-04-04 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 21 | Another Night with Neil Diamond | 2013-04-25 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 22 | My Bodacious Vidalia | 2013-05-02 | 30 min |
| Season 10 | Episode 23 | Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped | 2013-05-09 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 1 | Nangnangnangnang | 2013-09-26 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 2 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | 2013-10-03 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 3 | This Unblessed Biscuit | 2013-10-10 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 4 | Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank | 2013-10-17 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 5 | Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 | 2013-10-24 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 6 | Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants | 2013-11-07 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 7 | Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie | 2013-11-14 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 8 | Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. | 2013-11-21 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 9 | Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer | 2013-12-05 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 10 | On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! | 2013-12-12 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 11 | Tazed in the Lady Nuts | 2014-01-02 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 12 | Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. | 2014-01-09 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 13 | Bite Me, Supreme Court | 2014-01-30 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 14 | Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe | 2014-02-06 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 15 | Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin | 2014-02-27 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 16 | How to Get Rid of Alan Harper | 2014-03-06 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 17 | Welcome Home, Jake | 2014-03-13 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 18 | West Side Story | 2014-04-03 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 19 | Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang | 2014-04-10 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 20 | Lotta Delis in Little Armenia | 2014-04-24 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 21 | Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot | 2014-05-01 | 30 min |
| Season 11 | Episode 22 | Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead | 2014-05-08 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 1 | The Ol' Mexican Spinach | 2014-10-30 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 2 | A Chic Bar in Ibiza | 2014-11-06 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 3 | Glamping in a Yurt | 2014-11-13 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 4 | Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight | 2014-11-20 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 5 | Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. | 2014-11-27 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 6 | Alan Shot a Little Girl | 2014-12-04 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 7 | Sex with an Animated Ed Asner | 2014-12-11 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 8 | Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey | 2014-12-18 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 9 | Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey | 2015-01-08 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 10 | Here I Come, Pants! | 2015-01-15 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 11 | For Whom the Booty Calls | 2015-01-22 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 12 | A Beer-Battered Rip-Off | 2015-01-29 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 13 | Boompa Loved His Hookers | 2015-02-05 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 14 | Don't Give a Monkey a Gun | 2015-02-12 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 15 | Of Course He's Dead - Part One | 2015-02-19 | 30 min |
| Season 12 | Episode 16 | Of Course He's Dead - Part Two | 2015-02-19 | 30 min |
| Production | Tim Kelleher | Consulting Producer |
| Production | Jim Patterson | Executive Producer |
| Production | Joe Bella | Co-Producer |
| Production | Chuck Lorre | Executive Producer |
